There were days when all seemed well
I knew my place and the world acted according to plan
I prayed and walked and knew how things were
Maybe even some of my thinking was tinged with tradition
But I wasn’t afraid nor did I question the Almighty
Jesus was Lord and I had a big smile

My prayers were full of pretty ideals
I wanted to change, be useable, different and other thoughtful ideas
I prayed this way for days and months and years
Maybe my life had even become a smug form of Christianity
Suddenly everything changed and my core beliefs were challenged
Lord things are different, I don’t seem to be in charge

I had a depth of helplessness that I had never felt
It hurt and in some way scared me
I felt I didn’t deserve the current unrest and chaos
An abiding sense of worthlessness clouded my soul
I was combating anxiety at every turn
The future seemed distant and I wasn’t sure anymore

What happened to the old me, the sure me, the joyous me?
My life and work counted then, now I’m at odds and loose
I need a pick me up, I need prayer, I need something I don’t have
I cry out to the Lord, please help me, help, please hear me
My begging only grows worse, my future unsure and do I really hope for better?
What will change this kind of life?

My mind returned to Rome, to Peter and Paul and their situation
I opened God’s Word to First Peter and began to read… I am an alien
My unrest, my anxiety, my disappointment had a base, I was an alien
This world is not my home and I am not alone and Jesus is on His throne
The Lord is One, He knows me and knows my need, He is listening to me now
Joy flooded my soul, my heart leaped, my prayers were being answered from HOME

Clay Corvin 9/8/08