I Samuel 8:4-7 Then all the elders of Israel gathered together and came to Samuel at Ramah; 5 and they said to him, “Behold, you have grown old, and your sons do not walk in your ways. Now appoint a king for us to judge us like all the nations.” 6 But the thing was displeasing in the sight of Samuel when they said, “Give us a king to judge us.” And Samuel prayed to the LORD. 7 The LORD said to Samuel, “Listen to the voice of the people in regard to all that they say to you, for they have not rejected you, but they have rejected Me from being king over them.

Samuel had spent his entire life totally dedicated to the Lord. Now, foolish, immature Israel was impugning his master’s love and faithfulness. Would God wipe them out? Would Samuel get a chance to intercede as Moses did? Samuel was given a chance to change, called to obedience and name a king. The Hebrew for this is WOW.

I love my work. It nourishes me and indeed as with so many that live to work much of my identity is tied up in my work, Business manager, homeless mission pastor, Bible land traveler, writer and student of the Word. Note that I did not claim to be a scholar. Dennis Cole is, Ken Keathley is, Walter Brown is and so too many of you.

In my work I have discovered that there are times that I attempt to parley my faithfulness to the Lord’s work for certain “insider” information on where we (God and me) are going. I must confess that I am repeatedly amazed at what the Lord is up too.

I cringe at change. I hide from new responsibilities. I whine when I am in the dark. Out of my desperation I find that the Lord has done a new work in me. I am stronger. I am kinder. I listen better. I empathize with those that are hurting. I learn to care for those that don’t care for me.

Every time that I find myself in freefall, crying “Lord what are you doing?” I discover more about myself. What love the Father has for me. What concern for the smallest need He has. Desperately I want to grow and at the same time fear the change that will be wrought in me. Now at this time in my life I find myself at a point where I am reluctantly recognizing that His change is coming if I am faithful. I want to know Him more.


Oh dark night come
I want to grow
Come and change me
Make me whole

And yet I fear
That which is dear
May lose its hold
And leave me here

Do not o night
Let me drift
Away from things I know
Clasp my soul

I seek to control
And in control
Discover the truth
I am not in charge

But in the mist
I cannot remove
I find the change
So dearly sought

Pain and heartache
Evil I refrain
Cleanses me from habits
Presenting me new and changed

Again I am whole
A new me unfolds
Until the bell is tolled
O dark night of my soul

Clay Corvin 8/18/04