I kept asking You to come close,
while You quietly walked beside me.
The distance was never Yours.
It was mine.
I searched for some great experience
that would convince me You were near.
Instead,
You gave me another ordinary morning,
another page of Scripture,
another whispered reminder,
“I have never left you.”
I thought Your presence
would always feel like fire,
or thunder,
or tears I could not explain.
Instead,
You often came
like light through a window,
changing everything
without making a sound.
You stood beside me
when fear filled the room.
Not always removing it,
but becoming greater than it.
I learned that courage
does not begin
when fear disappears.
It begins
when Jesus stays.
You walked with me
through places
I would never have chosen.
Later,
when I looked behind me,
I realized
those valleys carried
the deepest footprints of grace.
Somewhere along the journey
I stopped asking,
“Lord, where are You?”
and began asking,
“Lord, help me notice You.”
That changed everything.
The Scriptures
became conversations.
Prayer
became companionship.
Obedience
became trust.
Waiting
became worship.
The people around me changed too.
Not because they became easier to love,
but because I began seeing them
standing beside the same Savior
who had been so patient with me.
Even suffering
lost its final word.
It became another place
where Your presence
refused to leave.
Now,
when morning comes,
I no longer begin the day
looking for some extraordinary sign.
I simply remember.
Jesus is here.
And if You are here,
I have enough wisdom
for this decision,
enough courage
for this burden,
enough peace
for this sorrow,
enough hope
for this day.
One day
I will open my eyes
and see the face
I have trusted all these years.
I do not think
heaven will feel
completely unfamiliar.
It will feel like finally meeting,
face to face,
the Friend
who has quietly walked beside me
every step of the journey.
Then I will understand.
You were never merely
preparing heaven for me.
You were preparing me
for Your presence.
And all along…
You were already here.